“Ego says “ Once everything falls into place I will find peace”…Spirit says” Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place” “ – Marianne Williamson
What is Ego? Ego is the aspect of you that you consider to be YOURSELF. It is a very complex term that works our minds and sub-conscious on every angle. Ego is the construction of beliefs that you think are rock solid and factual. It’s an extremely deep concept and a scary one as well. Our ego is basically the image that we have of ourselves.
Ego is all about YOU! It is what you think and believe that is disconnected from the rest of the world. Its this sense of I… it is very selfish…
Even if you love things and people, there will always be a difference in identification between you and the others.
The ego is very clingy and will often try to hold you back and sway you from what your heart wants you to do. Our egos are creations that don’t really want to face reality. It creates an illusion that we sometimes believe on another level. We become our egos and the mass it holds onto our daily lives is quite heavy if you let it. These beliefs control our thoughts and when that happens that’s when you need to check back with yourself internally and realize that you aren’t being properly guided with the ego being your pilot.
Training the ego can be a very refreshing experience. This experience will allow you to disconnect from being judgmental. You will be able to perform better and be at peace, instead of fighting this internal illusion that your mind has created for you. The power of numbing the ego, is a strong power to have, because once you do that, you will be able to feel a sense of ONENESS that will connect you on a deeper level with everything else. You become less selfish, and more open to what the world is trying to provide to you. Let go of the resistance. Go with the flow and trust me nothing will be able to shake you. You will feel so powerful!
I have experienced this whole internal process myself, and I haven’t been happier or more relaxed in my entire life. It’s not about being right…it’s really about being happy. It will help you reach your state of enlightenment and will allow to not stress over something that isn’t really happening. You can be yourself and not have to create a false image in the eyes of others. Don’t convince yourself of those lies.
The open mind that follows is refreshing, because you are not judging nor are you holding unrealistic expectations. Our ego wants instant results but silence your ego and begin your process of moving forward. Believe in what you stare at everyday in the mirror in its purest form. The self-belief will define you. Let go of ego and become the best possible version of you. You are your own foundation!
‘The Purpose of life is to discover your gift, the meaning of life is to give your gift away’ – David Viscott
We often ask ourselves what the true meaning of life is. We dig deep within ourselves to understand what our reason for BEING really is. Often, we stress ourselves out, because we are confused on what life is requiring us to do. But here’s the best part, your answer is right in front of you.
We live our lives trying to gain some type of status and power so that we can be heard and treated a certain way. But what is true power? What is our authentic power? My definition of power is what comes from my personality. What I mean by that is… personality comes to serve the energy of your soul. It aligns you on what you are really destined to do with your life.
Look deep inside of yourself and ask, what is my story? And how do I take my story and bring it to life? How will my story bring good to others? How can I inspire someone else with what I have gone through? When you can sit down and answer all these questions to yourself, then you realize that your purpose was there all along.
Your personality has been created by past experiences that have built you. Use that personality to make someone feel like they are not alone and serve a purpose by inspiring others with your energy. Our lives are only enhanced by, the sharing and giving of the openness of our heart space.
We feel true empowerment when, everyone we cross paths with, is inspired by us. Being famous and known isn’t what truly matters… it’s the mark you have left on peoples hearts that holds true meaning. Use yourself as a tool to make the world a better place and stand out!
Your legacy is everyone you have touched, every single person you have influenced and everyone you have inspired. They have gained a voice because of you. Make that impact and your legacy will move beyond anything.
Do not fear doing this, because fear is a nasty creation in our own minds, that will slow us down from excelling. Fear is a liar. We need to use our purpose and drive to beat our daily confrontation with it. The best things given to us, are results of the destruction of our fears. We experience absolute bliss and freedom by doing so. It’s magic at its purest form.
Listen to that voice inside, guiding you to your true passion. Allow common sense to take over your mind. Do not manipulate what is presented right in front of you. It is your compass to life. Enjoy the journey of warming the hearts of others. Do not hide away from what can serve the world in so many ways. Do not try to be perfect, because perfection doesn’t exist! People do not relate to perfect.
Take yourself out of your comfort zone and act on your inner drive and passion. Improve yourself everyday with every step you make towards your purpose. Make mistakes so that you can be better and be good to yourself always.
As Stephen King said : “ Some Birds just can’t be caged, because their feathers are just too bright”…
That bird is you…
“ It is our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.” – Ellen Degeneres
As an actor, you are always looking for subtext, layers and a deep understanding of the character. It takes research and an open mind to accept whom it is you are about to become. Characters can be extremely complex and put you in a situation that you are not familiar with and most often make you feel uncomfortable.
Being an actor has not only made me understand the complexity of the craft but it has made me look at people a different way. I began to look at people on a deeper level. Their layers fascinated me! Not only would I analyze their behaviors but, I would study their personality traits and try to understand where it all stemmed from.Human beings are extremely fascinating to me and nothing sparks my curiosity more than knowing why they are the way that they are. This process allowed me to be compassionate on many levels to those around me.
We often describe people as having different personalities…but what does the term personality really mean? We have used this word in so many contexts, that it has lost its clear definition. Personality to me is, a unique add-up of qualities that characterize how a person functions in their life circumstances. Personality is made up of layers. The more circumstances happen, the more layers a person creates. Personalities are complex and each layer is important, because it will determine characteristic ways that an individual will engage their world.
We all have a story…we have all lived different life experiences… and that is truly what makes us unique. People construct their lives by having life experiences and making sense out of how they all fit together. We look at our past, present and imagined future and look for meaning. Many people identify with having faced adversities in life and triumphed in overcoming the suffering to become more capable. Growth and development are key elements here, because the moment the details of the past come to the surface, it provides a rich textured analysis of who one is, how they overcame a situation and how they will function in future life circumstances.
Now, when you look at a person next time, instead of asking the question “ WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS THAT?”…ask “WHO IS THIS PERSON?”. This has been something I have worked on with myself, because as humans we have a tendency of being judgmental and we are very quick at making assumptions that will sometimes dismiss someone without even knowing who they are. When you change your mindset and start being curious on WHO someone is, rather than WHAT they are, you will begin to find a genuine interest and curiosity in learning more about those who surround you, on a deeper level. Giving people the time and the chance to slowly peel some of their layers for you is a game changer in so many ways.
It doesn’t take a day to peel layers off somebody, and yes it can be frustrating at times, because some have a harder time opening up than others, but it takes great patience and confidence to have anyone feel comfortable doing so. It’s not easy to be vulnerable and open wounds that we try to suppress on a daily. It’s easy to discuss surface layers that make us happy but the deeper ones that have shaped us, take more time.
Personally, I am one of those people that need time before my layers peel off…but the moment I am able to do so, that person will know their importance in my life. It actually excites me when I feel comfortable enough and at ease to open my heart and lift my band aids to share my story. It often gives people a deeper and more profound understanding of my personality and my drive. When those moments happen, the bond with that person becomes solidified on a different level. It is wonderful!
Layers are beautiful…very complex, but so fascinating in what it can say about someone. The depth of a person is far more incredible than the outside outer layer. Appreciate everyone around you, because you never know who will change your life with a simple peel of a layer.
“ Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control” – Jack Kornfield
Surrendering was probably one of the best things I’ve learned in the last year… It has brought peace to my life and has made me stronger on many different levels.
Many would see the act of surrendering as a form of weakness…but it actually takes great strength to let go and accept certain situations without wanting to manipulate and control them.
The last few years have definitely shaped me. Living in a different country, away from family and friends, and making enormous sacrifices gave me no choice but to manipulate who I was, and adjust to what I was dealing with.
Being alone in one of the toughest, most selfish and materialistic cities in the world, gives you no leeway. Los Angeles forces you to become harder as a person, grow thicker skin, and build walls that no one can break… This place has definitely made me stronger than I have ever been, as I have conquered situations that I would have never imagined living. I am truly grateful for those experiences, because overcoming those hurdles gave me a stronger grip on what I wanted in my life. I had control …and boy did I ever control every aspect of my life …it became a part of me, a part of my system…I wanted things done on my time and my way!
That way of life, became exhausting to me…
With an attitude like that, I got things done, and quick! I didn’t hesitate and I wouldn’t waste any time…it got me in a comfortable state because I had a routine, I had a plan, I had every duck lined up correctly…
All that could sound great, sure! But it wasn’t so great once you hit that wall. I felt stagnant and things were no longer going my way, and the control was slipping from my hands. I started to stress and got EXTREMELY hard on myself. It was making me sick and it made my work counter productive.
So, one random day, I decided to check out some motivational videos on Youtube and fell on Oprah’s motivational speech called ‘SURRENDER’…The moment I started listening to her message, I broke down in tears. The message in this video resonated on another level with me. I had a moment and it CLICKED! I knew very well that this video was a sign!
From that day on, my whole life shifted.
I finally understood that I had to stop controlling my life and everything in it. My sense of being ‘productive’ and ‘focused’ was all wrong. I had to understand that I needed to be more open to what the universe was ready to offer. So instead of keeping my arms crossed, I finally spread my arms wide open and was open to receiving. I was holding on so tight to my life and what needed to be done but ended up burning myself at the end of it, because that’s not what life is supposed to be. I stopped resisting, I stopped challenging my situations, and I let go of everything that I was forcefully trying to make better or fix.
I put my ego and pride to the side, and became ME! It takes a lot for someone to switch off and do things differently and unlearn things that one has been doing for years, but I was eager to see a positive change in my life. I wanted to be better and I wanted my heart and mind to connect, and not fight each other. I just wanted peace in my life.
This was the best decision I have ever made for myself. Months progressed and I let life happen. I didn’t force things, nor did I try to control anything. I knew that the things I was working towards had their own time. Timing was everything and understanding something so simple and applying it made all the difference in my life.
As time elapsed, certain things that I was focused on and working hard towards, starting falling on my lap. My life had completely shifted in the most incredible way. I started seeing and truly understanding the strength of SURRENDERING! I allowed my vulnerability to guide me through this process. Vulnerability is a beautiful thing, because it allows one to feel and sense everything that is going on …
With this, I built stronger bonds with people, I let go of what no longer needed to be in my life, I stopped fighting with myself and I allowed my heart to be seen.
I have become a stronger person because I surrendered! I often look back at where I was, and wow! I cannot believe that I am here, as the person that I am . One needs to open their eyes wide to see what they are surrounded by and look at how their lives has connected itself perfectly, piece by piece.
Appreciate where you are now, and know that it will only get better!
Remember, you are stronger than you know. Give yourself more credit and surrender to life and let it guide you…sit back and enjoy the ride xox
SUBTRACT AND ATTRACT
“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished”- RUMI
This quote really hit the spot, and made me think of times that I have been hurt, betrayed, mocked and misunderstood by certain people around me. These circumstances have left their mark on me in many ways …
Life always seemed perfect from the outside, because of the way I would hold myself and internalize pain within…but deep down I was hurt, irritated and bothered. I had come to a point where my tolerance for anything was at a minimum. I was unhappy, felt left out and felt like I was different in so many ways. I was confused by the treatment I was receiving from others.
I had been consumed by my thoughts of trying to analyze situations, people and understanding why certain people were the way that they were. I felt insecure, and uneasy because I couldn’t find the right answers.
I had to reassess my situation and disconnect from this pain and negativity that brought nothing good to my life. I was so focused on the bad people, that I lost focus on appreciating those who truly cared for me. I had to understand that, not everyone was going to treat me the way I treated them.
It was time to switch gears!
The world is a brutal place and it will beat you down, but this is exactly what makes you extraordinary! I understood that I had to keep pushing and be willing to take hits from every direction. I no longer allowed bad people to dominate me and consume me. As I paid less attention to the nonsense and gossip about other people, I directed my attention to my work and my love towards the people that truly supported and loved me. By doing so, I have gained this amazing strength and attitude towards everything and have cleansed myself from any negative thoughts or insecurities. I know who I am, and what I have to offer and if its not accepted, then that’s no loss to me in any way.
I am so excited about my life, and the moment I made that switch, everything has been unfolding beautifully. Wherever your focus goes, your energy goes. I became focused on my career and I made sure to keep pushing, even when I couldn’t anymore. I understood that my adversities were to my advantage. It fueled me even more!
One needs to find the courage in letting go of what is no longer good for them. We may not always feel ready to make certain decisions, but who says we are ever ready to do anything. Many spend so much time and energy on people and things that shouldn’t be in their lives and never take the time to act on extracting themselves from the very situations that’s harm them.
Trust me, this will attract the most amazing things to your life. Start this and start producing the best version of yourself.
To conclude, understand that when you step away from certain circumstances, you will only boost yourself up in so many great ways. The doors will open and you will set yourself apart from the crowd. Some may not understand, but they don’t need to understand. This may intimidate others around you, but that’s fine, because you want to be better than what you used to be. Stay focused, and stay in your lane! Ready or not…you will never be completely ready. Be ready to lose more than you win, work day in and out, sacrifice ,leave people that hold you back and get back on your feet when you have been kicked.
It’s time to no longer be irritated by every rub and allow yourself to be polished!
A CHANGED MIND, A CHANGED LIFE
“ If you can change your mind, you can change your life” – William James
I had a goal in 2016, and that was to go beyond measures to discover who Pauline was. This was a year of self-discovery.
I had to dig deep, be vulnerable, understand my surroundings, and understand my heart, my intentions, my goals and wants. This is an ongoing process, but at least I have promised myself to become better as a person, and be willing to not fear who I have become.
Those who know me, will always see a smile on my face no matter what I feel deep down. I will try to suppress what’s really happening instead of confronting the situation, which has created a very strong wall. I’ve wanted to tackle this wall and bring it down, and practice on shifting my mind, so that I can change my life. 2016 really taught me endless lessons, but I feel amazing about it all. I feel relieved.
What I learned this year was to RAISE MY STANDARDS. I realized that I have been playing way too small and needed to raise everything to a higher level. I believe that I have lowered my standards in order to fulfill certain voids in many aspects of my life. That brought nothing good to my life, except for mediocre things. I wanted to be better, and with that I had to take my self-discipline to another level as well. I am extremely disciplined and organized to begin with, but I had to take it to another level where I felt uncomfortable. When you want to be better and be more, you absolutely need that discipline to get things done.
I had to make new choices to get new results! I had to find a way to success, and understand what my true goals were. I had to get out of my comfort zone, push harder and risk more. Saying “I should do this” and “I should do that”, has now turned into, “ I MUST DO THIS AND I MUST DO THAT”…Period! No more distractions, and more focused! The mind is a powerful tool! Unless you take new actions, produce new thoughts, new conversations and get rid of the fluff, then nothing will change.
Commit yourself to this change. Success will follow.
It will get hard, but that’s okay, keep pushing. It will be uncomfortable and discouraging at times, but know that it will get colored by who you are and what you want to be. Have a clear vision of where you are going, or else you will drift. Don’t get diverted! THRIVE and know where your target is. Shoot for the top and think BIG all the time.
THINGS DO NOT HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT! Work hard and put in the time. Make what you want an obsession and get away from any distractions.
Always remember, the competition is the easy part, and the work behind it, is what will get you prepared for the race that you are on.I’ve had to understand that just because one has failed, it doesn’t mean that one is a failure! Find changes and readjust the goal. Be aware of your vision, your dream and stand clear from passion killers.
Unfortunately, sometimes our family members and friends can be the very ones to try to sway us away from our true passions. Those who do not have dreams will set you off track, because they have no ambition.It is essential to get those energy drainers out of your life. Keep doing you and keep that proper mindset. We are the only ones that can decide if we want to continue or not.
Listen to your gut! It is always right!!! That voice inside of you that says, YOU ARE THE ONE, listen to it!When that voice tells you something, listen to it and let it become you. You become what you think. Become real careful with your thoughts, because that is what your life manifests. Our intention is everything!
If you see it in your mind, then you can hold it in your hand. You are magnet and you will attract what you put out.
Be strong, push, work hard in silence. Do not explain yourself to anyone; just take yourself to the next level. Get away from the shadows of unsuccessful people. Sacrifice more and challenge the impossible. Focus on making things happen and water the seed that you want to grow. BE READY!
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID…
“ Every child is an artist, the problem is…staying an artist when you grow up” – Pablo Picasso
I’m a big kid now…
As I get closer to the my 30s , I realized how stressed I am because of it. The idea of leaving my 20s scares the crap out of me! I know that age is just a number, but nowadays, at the age of 30…if you are not where you want to be in your life, somehow people look at you funny and judge. Also, that famous question of when I will get married and have kids…umm I need to find the right person first before we jump the gun here lol. With that being said, I’ve realized that all this stress and pressure that I am internalizing inside of me, is solely based on the social constructions that we find ourselves following and have molded ourselves to . As much as we like to tell ourselves that we do not follow the norm and we are different, most of us are total products of what this society is looking for. We find ways to fit in , we are puppets to what we see on television, we get an education, we follow the rules, we want to have every social media outlet, get the most followers, post the greatest photos ,and the list goes on. Just writing about it stresses me out haha!
When I was a little kid, there was no such thing …the only thing us kids were worried about was when we would have the chance to go play outside. That was our social media outlet! As a kid, we found ourselves with such a fire in our bellies. We were fearless, and nothing can stop us from getting what we wanted. We were not shy, we were creative, and most importantly we didn’t care what others thought of us. We had big dreams, spoke our truth, our energy levels were through the roof and we were just happy and appreciated the rawness of life. Which is exactly how we should be living everyday.
We were a blank canvas, pure as can be. As we got older, we started picking up what the world was throwing at us. The messages of life became accustomed to us, and it created our mass thinking. This mass thinking forced us to be mediocre and we programed ourselves through daily repetition that this is how we should live our lives. We become afraid of everything we use to never fear. We are afraid to step outside of our box, when life shouldn’t constrict us to a box.
To conclude, we were born with internal gifts. We were all born artists, the only problem is, we lose all that because of opinions, security, comfort and fear. We need to always embrace life and see everyday as a new day that needs to be explored and enjoyed to its fullest.This is easier said than done, and life does take over, but we need to at least make that effort to ignite that inner child in us again and really live. We need to stop panicking about our age, where we currently are in our lives, bills, and other stresses. We must stop molding ourselves to this mediocre lifestyle that we were force fed to live, and really enjoy ourselves more, and be open to things that scare and excite us.
“ You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks” – Winston Churchill
With proper focus, we can accomplish anything…
The focused ones tend to weed out all of the extra noise that surround them. They have grasped the art of minimizing their options, so that they have fewer decisions to make within their journey. The more random decisions we cloud our minds with, the more we fatigue ourselves, which causes us to be less productive and effective.
Your options need to consist in the growth of your goal. If you have too many outside decisions you need to make, you will get distracted from the goal.
Social Media is probably the biggest form of distraction that most of us get sucked into. Have you ever tried writing an essay for school, and ended up on Facebook. Scrolling and scrolling, only to realize that you have been paying more attention to other peoples lives for the last hour, than your task at hand? We are all guilty of it!
This does a lot to our minds. It wipes our total focus and will power to the goal we were trying to accomplish. You are exhausting your brain for nonsense that will do nothing for you.
To be completely submerged in what we are doing, we need to do things with intention and purpose. One must define their mission, so that they are aware of the exact tasks that need to be done, to approach the end goal.
When you awake in the morning, you need to know what your task for the day will be. Many will fill their days with many things that mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! You seem busy because you are packing your schedule up with useless activities that serve you no purpose. I had to learn this hard truth! We do this, because it makes us feel better that our days are filled up, but we aren’t really doing ourselves much good.
Another distraction that many of us fall into is that we respond to every person’s desires. We often say yes to what everyone else is doing, but if we really look at it, are really pleasing our own desires by attending? Not always! This in itself becomes a huge sign of how unfocused we truly are with our direction. If the desire to do something isn’t pulling you forward towards what you want, then maybe you should reconsider… That time you are investing in something unrelated, is the time you can put into your craft.
I am not saying, stay home and lock yourself up, but find a very strong balance between enjoying yourself, your goals and your focus. The most successful people I know are the people I see the least. They work hard in silence, and then boom! They are everywhere! These are the exact people I love to surround myself with, because their work ethic, focus and drive is incomparable.
The connection to our mission is essential for anything good to happen. Saying yes to everything will get you scattered brained and make you lose your focus.
Keep your life simple and keep it focused on one or two major things at a time…and this will do amazing things for you!
“ You have to know what sparks the light in you , so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world”- Oprah
Finding your true purpose is essential…
Many are happy doing what they are doing, but deep down, they know they are investing their time in something that is not for them. Some may argue against it and convince themselves that they are indeed happy and pleased, but how can they be so sure? The real truth resides inside of each person ,and we can easily manipulate ourselves by suppressing it.
Take a moment and ask yourselves, ‘What do I really want to do?’…. This can be an intimidating question for many, because we are not always sure with the direction we want to take. The best way to narrow it down, is to experience different things and from there, we can eliminate what we like and what we dislike.
We need to be in tuned with ourselves, and see what feels natural to us. If you feel a discomfort inside, then what your doing it isn’t always for you and one shouldn’t force it. Listening to your instinct will take you to amazing places, but you need to trust it. That voice inside of you is a gift and one of the most powerful tools we were blessed with. It just knows!
Life is challenging, and many remain in that secure spot where they are comfortable, and at ease. This comfort zone, can force us to remain in the same exact spot for the rest of our lives. That is not a good thing! We are no longer taking risks and challenging ourselves to be the best of the best. The things that we do now ,gets us prepared for the next move, but we need to MAKE THAT MOVE to unfold new challenges and experiences. To get to our goals, it will require us to work hard, struggle and learn. Our patience will be greatly challenged, but it will all be worth it. Preparation meets the moment of opportunity.
Work hard towards your dreams or else you will be working hard for someone else’s dream!
Spark that light in you so that no one can touch you xox